Like always The Commish here will whittle your team down to one player I feel best represents your first half for better or for worse…Here We Go (in Draft Order):
Bull Lord Alfred Hayes - Tied for 9th Place Matt Holliday A staple in the top half of the league always, Bull is dropping down to the slums first half of the season, just like Holliday...quick how many home runs do you think he has hit this year without looking? Lower…much lower. (6)
Jay Vig Italian Stallions Tied for 9thth place Derek Jeter Why not...let him have his moment in the sun! Oh and because they are both old and shitty.
Mike Gene Okerland 12th Place Matt Cain The once reliable Cain has turned into a pumpkin after midnight and dropped pumpkin innards all over the ERA and WHIP categories...things are gross, like Mike this year.
John Honey Nut Ichiro’s 6th Place Alex Rios Kind of a middle of the road season from Birdie so far, same from Rios who has been stealing (14) and hitting (.300) but not showing any power (4 Dongs).
McNally KINER’S KORNER 3rd Place Jason Hammel Well I had him pegged for 8th place (still ranked him higher then myself) and he has obviously over produced. Just like Jason Hammel who I don’t even think was drafted…and if he was, he shouldn’t have been.
Shawn Crontry Honk 11th Place Bryce Harper You knew it was coming...dear god what a shit show, has Rockem 14 set a draft date yet?
BK C-Town Highpockets 7th Place Edwin Encarnacion Who else? Shitty, ON FIRE, hurt and dropping, fits BK’s team so well he named them after him.
Eben The Spearmint Rhinos 8th Place Mark Buerhle Peaked at 90 points in early April slow descent since, speaking of which you know Buerhle’s rank the last 30 days? 935th...yeah keep vetoing trades douche bags.
Jay Ryu Had Me At Cano 2nd Place Josh Donaldson This was my preview of Moon’s team: “Moon's team seems to be the one team this year I am having a hard time getting a read on. Take it easy Moon that might not mean good things,__last year__ it was Tom's Squad I had a hard time understanding and we know how epically bad that squad was”. Ha! remember how shitty Tom’s team was last year….ahhhh memories….Oh and I know nothing about baseball because I picked Moon to finish tenth, and I thought Donaldson was a complete fluke last year.
Tom Duda Right Thing 5th Place Koji Uehara Because Tom Gallagher is a 39 year old Asian man.
Fatone dogzilla 1st Place Masahiro Tanaka We all knew he could be something special someday but this good this fast? Now he limps into the all star break, see I was talking about both of them right there…major accomplishment from Donny and MT, I think they have both already shown their best and will rue the second half.
Jeff The Napoli Dug Trouts 4th Place Corey Kluber Up’s Downs and now settling into a real chance at free eats, Kluber’s got his K legs under him too, makes for an exciting second half...HA! I just got Jeff’s team name...vagina.
Like always The Commish here will whittle your team down to one player I feel best represents your first half for better or for worse…Here We Go (in Draft Order):
Bull Lord Alfred Hayes - Tied for 9th Place
Matt Holliday
A staple in the top half of the league always, Bull is dropping down to the slums first half of the season, just like Holliday...quick how many home runs do you think he has hit this year without looking? Lower…much lower. (6)
Jay Vig Italian Stallions Tied for 9thth place
Derek Jeter
Why not...let him have his moment in the sun! Oh and because they are both old and shitty.
Mike Gene Okerland 12th Place
Matt Cain
The once reliable Cain has turned into a pumpkin after midnight and dropped pumpkin innards all over the ERA and WHIP categories...things are gross, like Mike this year.
John Honey Nut Ichiro’s 6th Place
Alex Rios
Kind of a middle of the road season from Birdie so far, same from Rios who has been stealing (14) and hitting (.300) but not showing any power (4 Dongs).
McNally KINER’S KORNER 3rd Place
Jason Hammel
Well I had him pegged for 8th place (still ranked him higher then myself) and he has obviously over produced. Just like Jason Hammel who I don’t even think was drafted…and if he was, he shouldn’t have been.
Shawn Crontry Honk 11th Place
Bryce Harper
You knew it was coming...dear god what a shit show, has Rockem 14 set a draft date yet?
BK C-Town Highpockets 7th Place
Edwin Encarnacion
Who else? Shitty, ON FIRE, hurt and dropping, fits BK’s team so well he named them after him.
Eben The Spearmint Rhinos 8th Place
Mark Buerhle
Peaked at 90 points in early April slow descent since, speaking of which you know Buerhle’s rank the last 30 days? 935th...yeah keep vetoing trades douche bags.
Jay Ryu Had Me At Cano 2nd Place
Josh Donaldson
This was my preview of Moon’s team: “Moon's team seems to be the one team this year I am having a hard time getting a read on. Take it easy Moon that might not mean good things,__last year__ it was Tom's Squad I had a hard time understanding and we know how epically bad that squad was”. Ha! remember how shitty Tom’s team was last year….ahhhh memories….Oh and I know nothing about baseball because I picked Moon to finish tenth, and I thought Donaldson was a complete fluke last year.
Tom Duda Right Thing 5th Place
Koji Uehara
Because Tom Gallagher is a 39 year old Asian man.
Fatone dogzilla 1st Place
Masahiro Tanaka
We all knew he could be something special someday but this good this fast? Now he limps into the all star break, see I was talking about both of them right there…major accomplishment from Donny and MT, I think they have both already shown their best and will rue the second half.
Jeff The Napoli Dug Trouts 4th Place
Corey Kluber
Up’s Downs and now settling into a real chance at free eats, Kluber’s got his K legs under him too, makes for an exciting second half...HA! I just got Jeff’s team name...vagina.
See you all in the second half.